The Whole Community as Guardians of the Youth

By: Alan K. Caña

There is a problem creeping within our communities. And because people are taking it as an ordinary phenomenon happening everyday as a product of modern culture, no collective effort is being done to counter it. This problem has been here for years and is prevalent in all parts of the world.

Youth unruly behavior and disorderly conduct such as drug abuse, alcoholism, vandalism, vagrancy, and all forms of destructive actions are driving some parents crazy and disrupting lives of family members and even the whole neighborhood where they belong.

All Barangays in our towns is experiencing these problems. All one has to do to know what is going on is to hang around some street corner store or some corner “lantay”where local residents gather, and listen to what the people are talking about. Mostly one will overhear people talking about their children or gossip about what their neighbors’ children are doing.

Who among your neighbor’s children are “shabu” users? Who is going around with whom? Who is the new “sugar daddy” of the neighborhood’s “syota ng bayan”? Who came home so drunk last night? Who is being imprisoned for stealing? etc…

Look at the surrounding fences and walls of houses and buildings in your place and realize for yourself what gangs and so-called “frats” the young people are involved in. Some of our young nowadays have no qualms in advertising their membership in such groups - groups that promote vandalism, drug abuse, drunkenness, sexual promiscuity and violence.

Do you know of a son or daughter, your own or somebody else’s, who is giving their parents sleepless nights and is causing them endless worries and anxiety because of his/her disrespect for the family and society’s rules of conduct? Are the neighbors helping the parents cope with their problem? Or do you hear snide remarks from other people, un-educated and professionals alike, blaming them of their plight because they are “lousy parents”?

These people are not alone, or perhaps you are one of them ? Literally thousands of parents are trapped in this seemingly hopeless situation. You’ve done your best to change your child’s behavior. You prayed. You have asked for help and even tried countless ways to change yourself, believing what your neighbors, the so-called modern psychologists, the clergy and the educators alike are saying - that “the parents are to be blamed.”

Sounds familiar isn’t it? But will subscribing to this kind of reasoning solve your problem? Will looking for something wrong in yourself, in any way , stop your child from doing what he’s doing now, say, coming home drunk and hanging out with local thugs? The truth is, it won’t. Nothing can be solved by self blaming and finger-pointing.

The problem of some of the youth of today should be seen as a community problem having its roots in modern culture. Being cultural, this needs a communitarian solution .It is within this frame of mind that parents victimized by their kids unbecoming conduct should come together to unite and organize themselves and share experiences, console each other, find solutions, and take a stand against what their children are doing to them.

The principles of communitarianism and networking could apply to this. Parents need to be aware who their children’s friends are, what they are doing and where they usually hang out. Once organized, this Parents Group can help monitor each others children and foster links with the police and other concerned government agencies, the local PTA, NGOs and Church Organizations, to get involved and help their cause.

There is no reason for parents to feel alone in their struggle to maintain order in their families. After all, the whole community gets affected whenever any crime is committed by any of its members. Children who disobey and intimidate their families by rude behavior and of conduct unbecoming of a family member and a good citizen should learn to suffer the consequences of their actions.

Parents organizing themselves as a group, supported by the bigger community will be able to take a stand and say, “enough is enough, because the whole neighborhood does not condone what you young folks are doing. The whole community demands respect.”

This is what it means to live in a community - a community that guides its young to become cooperative members of society. Aptly put by an old saying, “It takes the whole tribe to raise a child”.